Moment

You ever drown in your thoughts and fear for your future? Do you ever just sit there and think, "What

if I don't succeed?" Have you ever just sat and thought about who you'll be in the next 10 years?

Well… I have, and I still do. I'm 20 years old now, and I have a solid plan on what it is that I 

specifically want to do with my life. The only problem is that life slows down pretty often. I find myself 

moping around school or at home, thinking about how difficult life's obstacles are. It seems that there 

are more slow depressing times than happy productive times. I mean hey, it might just be me who feels 

this way; but all I can say is that I'm tired of this feeling. As an artist, I personally get held back from 

displaying my art due to financial issues and other small reasons. I was happy when I first enrolled into 

The Art Institute. I felt like I finally landed in the place that I needed to be, and I started meeting the 

people that I needed in my life. That stuff is awesome and I thank God for every single moment, but for 

some reason I continuously seek progression. What I mean by "Seek Progression" is, that I feel as if my 

life needs to keep sprouting. I love meeting new people that are moving in the same direction as myself, 

and I really love when a moment of opportunity lands in my lap, buuuuuuuuuuut lets highlight that 

word MOMENT. (I literally highlighted it.) You see, great moments land on our laps and they tend to 

paint this picture of hope and progression for our futures. But as soon as we think things are going to 

completely change for the better, the door shuts in our faces or it kinda closes but someone puts the little  

chain lock thingy on it, and when you try to open the door you discovered it's unlocked; you absorb a 

MOMENT of happiness, but the little chain lock thingy stops you from coming inside and you only get 

a tiny little peek of what's inside. Gosh, that is absolutely the worst… Luckily I never really give up, 

but I'll be honest and tell you that I often feel like it. I have 4 years of college to complete, and all this 

school does is stuff my face in a hot bowl of debt. The only choice that I have in my mind, is to 

succeed. I don't want to be a filthy rich dude or anything like that, I just want to be able to live 

comfortably and spread a great message to the world through my art. I mean honestly I live to please 

God through my talents, but it gets under my skin when I feel pushed away from completing my set of 

goals in life. Just to inform you, I want to be an independent music artist working in the big studios, and 

I plan on literally changing the world. I can't make this happen without a loyal team of engineers and 

producers, along with a great manager, agent and a team of lawyers. I'm already recording music with 

my band in the big studios at school, cool, but there's a gap that needs to be filled in, in order to make 

an impact on the world, and it all comes from not having specific resources. I don't blame God or 

anyone else for the setbacks in my life, I'm honestly happy at the end of the day; but I'm tired of not 

being able to wrap my hands around my future. I watch my mother wake up and go to work every 

single day, and she's not doing what she wants to do in life. My mom takes care of my siblings and I, 

my father isn't around, and as a man I feel obligated to lend out the helping hand that she needs. I mean 

sure, I take the kids to school, I grocery shop, I go to school, I clean the house, etc… But… I want to 

get them out of a 2 bedroom apartment, I want to travel the world with them, I want to introduce them 

to a comfortable lifestyle; but I can't because I haven't even been introduced to any of those things. I'm 

where I am for a reason, and I hope that God knows that I know these things; I just feel… Stuck